dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She announced her abortion via fbk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize