She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
