her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
