So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just high enough for therapy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
