Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
