Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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