woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
