Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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