After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
