im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
