even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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