Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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