me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize
