I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
