I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
