Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I party with great urgency now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
