is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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