dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
