Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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