You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
