Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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