you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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