The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
