found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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