That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
