The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
