I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
