Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
