haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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