You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
