WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
