Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
