True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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