she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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