What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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