I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize