I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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