we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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