bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
