it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
