Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
