I can tuck mytits in my pants
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize