And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
