i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
