wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
