Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
