Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
