gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
