this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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