So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
