I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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