How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
