So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
