matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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