i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We are two peas in an std pod
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
