? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
