Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
