I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
