no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
