So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
